While I like the 2002 NFL realignment, I have always wished for something a little bit more thematic. I propose a realignment in which teams are grouped not by location but by mascot. Teams keep their current nicknames, but the Cardinals must change their mascot from a red bird to a man in a red hat.

Human Football Conference
Working Men
Division
Seafarers
Division
Regional Fighting Men
Division
Holy, Football, and Western Men
Division
  • Cowboys
  • Packers
  • Steelers
  • 49ers
  • Buccaneers
  • Raiders
  • Vikings
  • Dolphins
  • Chiefs
  • Patriots
  • Redskins
  • Texans
  • Cardinals
  • Saints
  • Browns
  • Bills
Nonhuman Football Conference
Cats
Division
Birds
Division
Four-Footed
Division
Non-Humans
Division
  • Bengals
  • Jaguars
  • Lions
  • Panthers
  • Eagles
  • Falcons
  • Ravens
  • Seahawks
  • Bears
  • Broncos
  • Colts
  • Rams
  • Chargers
  • Jets
  • Giants
  • Titans